about what is highly subjective

couple of days ago i just struck by some sort of enlightment, it’s a classic one. that one effective way to be happy is to be grateful of what you’ve got and one of the cruelest mental sickness is envy. it’s crazy how those two attitudes can react toward each others in opposite forces. as simple as this: envy sucks out your soul while gratitude nourishes it. that day i said to myself… how could i whine over many things when i had all these delight. i believe God is a good director indeed, there’s a reason behind every dream that came true, pending wish, or even one that never happened to any existence.

i am content with my life, Alhamdulillah, and try to make the best out of it.

what about…

relish this southern beauty

say hi to this vandalized dragon

feel the water drops splashed onto my skin

cruise along this coast

and see if a wish i made at this place…

…comes to reality.


a hope and a predestination

this morning my father pointed me a box on the corner of the newspaper. my dream hospital to work in had opened vacancies for GPs, specialists, subspecialists, and nurses. i couldn’t get any more thrilled! i’ve only been twice to that hospital: couple of months ago-visiting relative who just gave birth and the day i was born into this world. yes, it’s the sacred place i was born at. earlier this year when i stepped into this building, i was excited to finally been in the hospital where i first saw the world, and it was love at the first sight. gazing around the maternity floor, “this was where my mom sacrificed her life for me”, i thought, “i want to deliver mine too here.” then i stepped out of the building with another resolution: “I HAVE TO WORK HERE SOMEDAY”. ha, finally i know how it feels to be challenged by the vacancy opening.

have i told you that day by day i believe more that everything happened for a reason, some might not be revealed, but there was one for each of them. and the beauty of it can only be perceived after they all passed… most of the time. yeah, i frequently have those ‘phews’ and said to myself “untuuuung aja!” 😛

ah well, help me with your prayers peeps… so i can give back to the world at that hospital. someday, Amin.

mind traffic

in about less than a week my apprenticeship at peripheral hospitals will begin. coming home from another skin-darkening holiday, now i’m faced with the reality. so many things to do… hell yeah, i suck at time management 😦


this song keeps on streaming in my head…

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story baby just say yes

yes, i’m a teenage rom-com person ever since i could remember.

now glue gun… come come wherever you are.

7 random facts

since tingling sensation is invading my hands, i don’t feel like writing a long post. so let’s try what ms. high-pitch tagged me to do :

  1. my user id “noddie” came from a long journey of evolution, and however labile it sounds no update would be made anytime soon… for the sake of my age
  2. hates jackfruit, raw banana, and durian
  3. had this brown stain on my left bulbar conjunctiva, never know where that comes from nor did an ophthalmologist
  4. always wanted to live in the USA particularly the Sunshine State (such a western slave since a kid :P)
  5. prefer beaches to mountains
  6. me = half Javanese + quarter Sundanese + quarter Padangnese # born in Jakarta, grew up in Bandung
  7. i daydream A LOT, that’s where this blog’s name came from. i hope this habit would give me any benefits someday rather than just wasting my time 😛

one step closer

Ah well. Here I am, finished my clinical clerkship but not yet a doctor. Exams and internship at peripheral hospitals are on their way. I spent my last 3 weeks at the hospital with a great spirit. Such a mixture of approaching-the-finish-line excitement and trying to enjoy the last traces of the hospital.

I had my time at remarkable places and met those who left good impression on me, my people 🙂

memorable section of hospital : ER and its contagiousness

God is a Great director indeed, I ended my time there with an interesting set up. Haha.

I also got a good lesson from my last dept : Neurology. We learned the philosophy of pain. Pain is defined as an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage. (IASP, 1986). As we can see from the definition itself, pain is actually a physiological process to warn and protect us from something destructive. For example, in the case of physical trauma, we feel the pain on site of the laceration or fracture, we would stay motionless and fixated to the particular position since it is too painful to move. Meanwhile it actually prevents us from further break and gives recovery to take place.

So then, why do we curse a lot on the pain we suffer? For it actually God’s way to save us from something worse.


food for the soul

so many thoughts i had in mind to pour into this blog but the previous days were that hectic even the wordpress app on my bb did no good. worked our ass off the final report, the presentation, and studied for the exam itself with the scary imagination of our examiner flying here and there… haunting us. we made it though. yesss, we passed the department as the best group. ha-ha, little pride won’t hurt anyone.

interesting lessons i got through rotation in this dept. public health. yep, i’m really sorry for those who might found this offensive but i was never fond of this subject. not that i’m not aware or concern about the painful facts of the real public health issue surrounding me… maybe i just don’t like the lectures. but i do care 🙂 especially after seeing the real life from home visit. do you have any idea there are still many people’s houses being just few centimetres away from the river’s edge? and voila, as we all can guess, flood invades their households whenever rainy season comes. and why that could happen? they act like river is a giant rubbish bin. read this jaw-dropping fact: there’s actually people who threw away a mattress into the river, yes, a mattress = bed! washing their minds off all of these is not that easy, it’s all back to the cycle of low income-low education-low awareness of their own health. *sigh

other lessons came from my very own preceptors. it’s plural, yup, there are 2 of them. call it coincidence or what, but both of them loved to teach us more of life lessons rather than academical lesson. they’re very inspirational, lucky me! got through this dept, i still don’t see myself working as the head of primary health care (puskesmas here) one day, but i made a promise to myself that i would do something for those kind of people. helpless people who really needs attention. eymen!

the thing occupied me last week was also the visit from my baby nephew! yippieee! it’s baby’s first days out of town. i realized that he grows that fast when my arms ached after carrying him. God, i love him so muchosss!!! i never get bored kissing his bapao-y cheek and staring into his crystal clear eyes. baby, i wish we live in the same city.


i really forgot those things i’m about to write.

okay, why don’t i write about this. still in theme of inspiring people. today, i read someone’s blog and it really left me an admirable impression. it’s relieving to know that there’s still that kind of people exists, out of my worries. let’s say, hey you, got urself a secret admirer here!

here is some of the posting:

overall, the writer wrote about something with the right decision, path, and what you’re doing in life. he posted the steve jobs’ video as a reference. and i love what the writer wrote at the end of the post:

Because once we are settled, we are too lazy to think, our creativity is plugged, and finally we are reluctant to move forward.That is why I always remind myself never to get settled and leave the door open towards any possibilities.

Whenever you feel down, have doubt, or don’t know what to do with your life. Watch this video and see how inspiring people’s life is not easy. Sometimes they got hit by a brick in their head and they got bleed and bruises. But they managed to overcome it, picked theirself up, cleaned their wound, and moved on. They were fool enough to keep on going and have hunger to become better and better. So find what you love and have faith.

on sum of that, here’s my fav quote from my preceptor :

hidup itu gerak, kalau tidak gerak berarti tidak hidup (being alive is moving, if you’re not moving you’re not alive)

such a slapping yet life-changing quote for a lazy ass like me… hehhehe.

not a good judge, really

How do you define perfect? Does perfect always bring you any good?
What happens when the so-called perfect matter dissapoints us?
Isn’t it confusing to strive from what’s left?
If perfect have different series, please tell me one that suits me.
Cause assorted menus have been served on my table but apparently in the end I still have no clue which would be good to my belly.
Maybe it’s about time I have to agree with the cliche saying: “You need what you really need, not what you want.”

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